Today is my birthday

….and so it comes for one more year…no thanks is enough to thank my parents and also feel how blessed I am to have been born in this world. I love them and my grandmom to the core. However, 2020, this day, I have been crying since 12.00 yesterday night. I am really good for nothing soul, an useless soul and a person who has no capacity to appreciate and understand her so called ‘boyfriend”s happiness in finding warmth from girls in matrimonial sites. Well, I do the same, but he has not disclosed about me to anyone because he doesnt consider me at all. Anyways, he has finally said to me that neither I am his friend nor his girlfriend and this is momentary. I am not feeling good and till now I have done nothing. Yesterday night, I had made bengali mutton curry and rice. Had cut a small cake at 12.10 and blew candle and cried. Cried a lot. No, he neither kissed me, nor hugged me properly nor wished me happy birthday at 12. No, he didnt do anything. I hugged myself and wished myself and thanked God..I spoke to God, dont know if they hear me at all. Following that I got some wonderful gifts from him. Those are really lovely..I liked those and ofcourse a beautiful handmade card, something I cherish the most.

I got call from another special person of my life. Yes, he called at exactly 12 and I expected that. I loved that and thats something that saved me for the night. I spoke to him in the terrace under the open sky and I loved that. It didnt feel that we dont stay together anymore physically, I do stay with him mentally. Yes, thats true. I realised one thing. I have to let go of this relation, the so called relationship. No, there is nothing. I cried on my birthday and thats something I can never forget. I wasnot cared for and ofcourse thats what I deserve may be for my deeds. I have wonderful parents, but I dont know why I have become like this. Too much attachment with one person, too much of dependency and too much of emotions. I mean what the duck…Since morning, I have felt terrible and I went up to the terrace to do some meditation. The terrace is on the 6th floor and sitting there seems to be so calming.

He manages things the way that no body will want. He puts a deaf year to everything. He makes people cry, which I do too. He gives a damn to my feelings and yet I am there longing for him. He ignores and remains composed and strong devoid of feelings. When I am hurt, he does something which shakes me to the core. Yes, I have cried yet again since morning with no breakfast. And, this is my birthday. I do celebrate birthdays 4 days a year and will tell you why. I will tell you why on Earth am I so weird. Well, I am not sure why I am so weird, but yes he told me that I have made a joke of my birthday because I celebrate it 4 times a year. I got some nice compliments from him that I will fail in relationship, I will never succeed, I have crushed him to ground, etc. etc. So, what should be my next move? Move away right? Yes, I still strength for that. I need to move out and away forever. I already had a lovely relationship in the past which I have spoiled on my own. Now, this one is something which I should let go of. And, yeah he will give a damn to that. The below horoscope has been a little savour for me, bringing in some sunshine, some ray of hope in this rather saddening day I have been spending till now. I do hope not to spoil it any further and lets see how it goes. Will keep you updated. Hope not to bore you with my utterly hopeless reality. However, I dont know how to groom myself into a stage where I will not care, not bother about anything on Earth except for my very near ones. How will I do that? Its something that one should or dont do? Please tell me..I am waiting to hear from you. If I should, then how? Please tell me. I will update you again about the proceedings of the day

https://cafeastrology.com/birthday/september5-2020.html

Is life a race or A relaxing sail? šŸ¤”šŸ§šŸ¤”

What’s up guys? Busy with work? No worries..this will just take a few seconds’ read..Before moving to the rest of the platform, just thought to pen down some thoughts that have been hovering in my mind occassionally creating thoughtful folds on my forehead! Why not share with you? Who knows we might be sailing on same boat or perhaps the other… šŸ™ƒ

I have been questioned by my mind day over day as to what life is..is it a rigirous race or a relaxing sail or a mix of both?? Well, I have often heard folks say that life is a struggle, a fight for sustanenace and one needs to run everyday to lead a life…If its really a fight, then whats the difference between a life and a war? šŸ™„ Atleast, war ends in few years, but life goes on..I do agree and heartily accept that there are many across the world who really need to work hard in order to sustain themselves and with no questions asked, all due respect to them….May the almightly realise their strenuous work….What about the other ‘many’ group who might not need to ‘struggle’ everyday? Take a step back and understand how different your life would have been if you had been a son of a millionaire or an underpaid peasant?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Well, I want you to share across your thoughts about what life is…To me, a life should be a sail which is relaxing while moving with the tide and a struggle while moving agaist the tide..What say? I have 3 especially positive people in my life who are friends first and then parents and grandmom..šŸ˜ŠšŸ˜ŠšŸ˜ŠšŸ˜Š..Yeah, that’s right! Out of them, its my MOM who has made me realise how life can be led in a smiling manner, no matter what…Its she who is the most cheerful person I have seen and my grandmom seems not to be disturbed by her age…Yeah, she doesnt look like she is aging and who cares…For us, age is just a number and its more important to stay a child from the heart…I will have post coming up shortly for that

Coming Soon – Age is a number

Come back here when our journey begins.

On this planet

sauteandsecrets@gmail.com

Age is just a number? I can already see tilted looks on me šŸ˜ŽšŸ˜ŽšŸ˜Ž Cool, we will come back soon on that and you can let me know your thoughts for it..I can tell whats the secret behind age is just a number..Sounds interesting? No? Then I will especially invite you to the read šŸ˜œšŸ˜œšŸ˜œ

Yeah, so for my MOM and grandmom life is a positive and cheerful journey no matter how your mind is or what circumstances you face..For my father, who has happened to have struggled a lot in his early years having been migrated from a different country and losing his father in his very tender age, he sees life in a completely different way..For his, life is an everyday struggle to get things sorted and thats why he stays so utterly tensed whole day with some permanent folds on his forehead…I know you have been thinking why no mention of friends..Well, I will come back to some interesting stuffs on my very few friends that I have very shortly..

So, no matter what happens, life needs to be a mix of relaxing and a sprinting journey..Relaxing to breathe and reflect on oneself and grappling to keep up with our dreams.Its the balance that counts..this is to me, what about you?

Some really real life drama, secret thoughts, unforgettable facts, passions along with food for soul and body becomes the usp of this blog which is as much yours as is mine..I really mean it..I dont want this to be a monologue platform, I want to know each one of you and know about each other..So, are you game? Please join in and stay tuned for the upcoming reads..